Exercise Jokes

What does the captain of the USS Enterprise do for exercise?

Jean-Luc Picardio

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What do you call a gunman who exercises?

An active shooter!

What do the people of Skyrim use to exercise?

A Nordic Track.

What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

How do college students exercise?

By swimming in their debt.

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

What does seven days without exercise make?

One weak!

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"

What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising?

Pants.

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

What is this world coming to?

Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise

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What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

Why do Americans weight lift in tank tops?

Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms.

Why did the sailboat start exercising?

It wanted to get into ship-shape. HA!

What kind of exercises do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats

What kind of exercise does Ned Flanders like to do?

Diddily-squats.

What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?

Diddly squat

How often do you exercise?

About 3 to 4 times a week. "Be honest." 2003.

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College Student Jokes More College Student Jokes

Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam?

He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics.

How are college students like plants?

They both need natural light to survive!

Squat Jokes More Squat Jokes

Why are Slavs always squatting?

what else is there to do while you're waiting in line?

How does a Tyrannosaurus Rex scratch it's junk?

It squats down on a Triceratops.

Coke Jokes More Coke Jokes

Whats the saddest thing about global warming/iceberg melting?

Polar bears won't be able to keep their cokes cold.

Why did the police officer arrest the pop machine?

It was selling coke.

Step Jokes More Step Jokes

How did the firefly react when he was stepped on?

He was delighted.

What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What seperates man from animal?

Divorce!

How do you get a man in a coma hard?

Lick his Comatoes

Weak Jokes More Weak Jokes

What does seven days without exercise make?

One weak!

What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days ?

One is a weak one and the other one week !

Obese Demon Jokes More Obese Demon Jokes

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of peanuts get warts?

Planters.

What kind of stories does Eli Whitney tell on Easter?

Cottontales