How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"

Previous Random Joke Next

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Doug

How can you tell that Caitlyn Jenner was once a man?

Because she's better at being a woman than most women are.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How was work?

flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good

What do you call a blonde white guy with blue eyes who is an experienced soldier and who works with sick animals?

A veteran Aryan.

Step Jokes More Step Jokes

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on Ant?

Nothing, Pink Panther doesn't talk!

Who's skin is that?

Please step out of the vehicle sir."

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

Who's the wost president ever?

Guess we'll find out in January.

Why won't people know when you replace words with instruments?

Idk, accordion to research I guess.

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

What kind of line gets thicker and thinner at the same time?

A line of marathon runners

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

Exercise Jokes More Exercise Jokes

How do college students exercise?

By swimming in their debt.

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

What have you been doing for it?

She replies, "Snorting pepper."

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

When's the best time of day to start a diet?

4:00 For:Klock

Why do we need iron in our diets?

Because it's good ferrous.