What's the quickest way to lose pounds?

The UK National Lottery!

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?

GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

Why was Kim Kardashian arrested at the airport?

She had two pounds of crack in her knickers.

Whats the difference between Taylor Swift and Adele?

About fifty pounds

Quick Way Jokes More Quick Way Jokes

What is the quickest way to double your money ?

Fold it in half !

What's the quickest way to lose pounds?

The UK National Lottery!