Pain Jokes

How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

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What dinosaur was in the most pain?

the tyranno-sorest rex

What is the life motto of a Frenchman?

No gain no pain.

What do you call a Messiah that enjoys pain?

A masochrist.

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Why was the road in so much pain?

Because it has a carpool tunnel.

What's another name for a supernova?

A POPstar. HAHAHAHA. Living is pain. Unbearable. End me.

Why are dogs in a lot of pain?

Because they chew balls.

How do cats let us know that they are in pain ?

Me...........Owwwwww!!

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him?

Because he was pain in the neck!

What would a world without women feel like?

A pain in the arse.

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What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill?

One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment.

What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?

Shoot him again.

What is a french bakers lifestyle like?

Its a life of pain

Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions?

It pains them to have standards.

Why did Hank Hill join an S&ampM club?

He heard they were Pro-Pain.

How did the french guy feel when he got hit by a piece of bread?

He felt pain.

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

How do you measure pain?

In Hertz.

What do mathematicians drink?

Anything to ease the pain.

Why is no one friends with Dracula?

Cause hes a pain in the neck.

Why does Dracula have no friends?

Because he's a pain in the neck.

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

What would Germans call a painfully offensive joke?

Ouchwitz &gtsay ouch when offended or in pain &gtWitz is the German word for joke &gtsounds like auschwitz

Who's there ! Anatole ! Anatole who ?

Anatole me you're a pain in the neck !

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Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What to hear a joke about dementia?

Pickles

What's musical and useful at the grocery store?

A Chopin Liszt Note: taken from one of those horrible "Joke of the Day" desk calendars. It took almost 12 months to get something clever.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many pork chops does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't know it's lard to tell.

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head & Shoulders under the steering wheel!

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

How did Godzilla get the job opportunity?

Some say he had a foot in the door... and the window... and the wall.

Why do you look out the window in the morning?

A: Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway.

Year Ago Jokes More Year Ago Jokes

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

Why frogs don't use Google?

They're angry since Froogle was discontinued years ago!

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What does a blonde make best for dinner?

A: Reservations.

What do waiters want most after dinner?

The tip!

Peke Jokes More Peke Jokes

What did the perverted sauce say to the Chinese Ribs?

I'm only Peking.

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

Why did my computer just say hello?

Oh, that's right. It's A Dell.

School Jokes More School Jokes

What's the difference between a school of children and a terrorist camp?

I don't know, I just fly the drone Edit/apology: My friend said this to me, I thought I should share with you all, he said that I could post it here. 5 minutes later he told me he found it on reddit.... I'm sorry all.

Why were the yearbook students expelled?

They shot the whole school.