How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What do you call an alligator trying to start trouble?

An instagator!

What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What's the difference between a cook and a homo?

Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

Why does Dracula have no friends?

Because he's a pain in the neck.

Why did Hank Hill join an S&ampM club?

He heard they were Pro-Pain.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

Why does Garfield hate Mondays?

He doesn't have a job.

Why can't you lift weights on Monday?

It's a week day.