How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?

Nukes... You're fired!

How do you start a teddy bear race ?

Ready teddy go !

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

What happened on Reddit yesterday?

A pao-erful change

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

What do you call a Messiah that enjoys pain?

A masochrist.

Why are dogs in a lot of pain?

Because they chew balls.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?

A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.

What would be a terrible name for a new beer?

Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...