What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...

The sails are going through the roof.

What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's the last thing you want to see on the reddit frontpage?

This joke. PS: You don't think so Prove me wrong.

How's she getting on?

I replied, "I'm not sure, I think they use a crane."

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did Timmy fall off the swings?

Didn't have any hands.. (the real punch line) Knock knock.. Who's there Not Timmy..

Why would 12:00 make the best cop?

Hands up"

End Jokes More End Jokes

How is prison like quidditch?

The game ends when they catch the snitch

What does natalia portman have on the ends of her feet?

her natalie

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark ?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms !

P Jokes More P Jokes

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car?

get in the car :P

What starts with P and ends with orn?

Popcorn.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool

Hint Jokes More Hint Jokes

How does the quadriplegic cross the free way?

I'll give you a hint... Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out of "way".

Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.