What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What word starts with F and ends in uck?

Firetruck. The answer is Firetruck.

What's wet on the inside, hairy on the outside, starts with C and ends in T?

Coconut.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Which do you think I should take?

Whichever you'll excel in, son."

How often do I think about Keira?

Knightley.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's the cruelest curse to wish upon a single guy?

I wish his hands were made of stone."

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.

End Jokes More End Jokes

How do you end a relationship fight?

You break it up.

What made you leave it?

well, the movie ended so

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why did the student fail the exam?

Spent too much time figuring out the Engels, so he didnt get the Marx.... thats what he gets for Stalin

What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?

I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.

P Jokes More P Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

How do you foil a plan?

p + l)(a + n)=pa+pn+la+ln

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.

Why did Jon snow wait outside he Apple Store for 3 days?

For the watch

Hint Jokes More Hint Jokes

How did the turtle with no arms and no legs cross the freeway?

Here's a hint: take the F out of Free and take the F out of Way

How does the quadriplegic cross the free way?

I'll give you a hint... Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out of "way".