What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?

I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.

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Why did the rooster buy mittens?

So his chicken fingers wouldn't get cold. I'll leave now

What is someone who just got left at the alters least favorite fruit?

Cantaloupe

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Why did the algae end up at school?

She wanted to buy an algae bra.

How do you sell chicken to a deaf man?

A: HEY, YOU WANNA BUY SOME CHICKEN !!!!!!!

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Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.

What are we going to spend 10 million dollars on?

asks his wife. "31 black"

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Which teachers care the most about their students?

Math teachers, because every student counts.

Why do teachers use a bamboo cane?

Because when the cane goes 'bam' the child goes boo!

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Which place has the strongest gravity in the whole universe?

Bed

How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?

Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.

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What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?

Church.

What do you call ten thousand pastors setting themselves on fire in protest of marriage equality?

A good start.