What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?

I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.

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What did the homeless yogi say when told to leave the yoga studio?

Nah, I must stay.

What did the tailor say after a job well done?

There is nothing left too loose.

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What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua?

A short one!

What's that again?

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.'

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What's the difference between a golfball and a woman's 'G' spot?

A man will actually spend 20 minutes looking for a golfball... Alternative punchline: Man can actually hit a golfball...

What birds spend all their time on their knees ?

Birds of prey !

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What did Justin Beiber say to his teacher?

What do you mean?

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

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What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

How many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They can't, it'd be much too cramped. How would they even get in there in the first place?

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How do you make a tiramisu?

With a thousand Gigamisous

What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?

I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.