What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?

I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

Why should you always finish telling your jokes to David Carradine?

He doesn't like to be left hanging.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

When does a dyslexic person know they've bought the wrong SUV?

When they're in Denali.

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

I say: why buy an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

Why do stoners spend so much money?

because they're high rollers

Teacher Jokes More Teacher Jokes

What is the outside of a tree called?

Student:I don't know. Teacher: Bark, my child, bark. Student: Bow, wow, wow.

What is the difference between a teacher and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four...

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

One. He stands in place while the whole world revolves around him.

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

What's the difference between rock and jazz?

Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people.

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?

Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "