If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.
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They weren't born yesterday.
A pao-erful change
I bought some thyme yesterday.
Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)
For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.
Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.
Swine flu
U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.
It wasn't born yesterday.
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Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.
Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet
2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.
Yesterday
Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.
Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Mothers Day is this upcoming Sunday.
Robert" "Since when is Robert your best friend " "Yesterday."
It wasn't born yesterday
Diego
Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you talking about " Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"
Student : Yesterday I heard in the news that 5 died in a car accident. DIE
Asked the patients. "You only have 24-hours to live." "And the really bad news " I should have told you yesterday.
Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997
I was 10 years old yesterday.
Well, this was a waste of Thyme."
He's a Thyme Lord
Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!
Two brunettes and a red-head.
A meander-thal!
James Bonding bah dun tss
At the bank.
Small medium at large
Dough nuts!
Because his nuts were in his neck!
IC (icy) .
A: Because Bs like flowers.
Him : Um, ten bucks? Me : Like for WinZip. PS: Taken from bash.org
I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....
You add ices.
Because their hips stir.