Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

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What's the stupidest animal you can find in a jungle?

A polar bear.

Why can't you find an Abbey National at the North Pole?

Because Santa dere.

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Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

Why did I rob the bank?

For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.

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What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday."