Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

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Why do electricians make good mediators?

Because they're good at finding common ground.

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

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Who is your best friend?

Robert" "Since when is Robert your best friend " "Yesterday."

What would you call it if pigs were flying yesterday?

Swine flu

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What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

What's the worst type of vegetable to bring on a boat?

Grandpa. :(