Grandpa Jokes

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How are you feeling Grandpa?

Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.

What does rock music and my grandpa have in common?

The Strokes

What did grandma say to grandpa while in bed?

Keep it up!

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

What do you call parents who teach abstinence only?

Grandma and grandpa.

Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

What was on Grandpa's mind when he had that aneurysm?

Probably a tumor."

Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

Why are you rushin'?

Too which I replied "Because my grandpa is from Moscow." Duh..

What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

What's the worst type of vegetable to bring on a boat?

Grandpa. :(

Why is grandpa running daddy?

Shut up son, and give me another shell.

What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?

Grandma monster

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Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What does a parent say to their boy who keeps missing the toilet?

Urine trouble.

Why do Asian woman have small breasts?

Because her parents accept nothing less than an A.

Upload Jokes More Upload Jokes

Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan?

Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

Old Man Jokes More Old Man Jokes

What did the old man get for his birthday?

Cancer.

Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

Stroke Jokes More Stroke Jokes

Why did the lady at the bar slap the man next to her for stroking his mustache?

Because in between stroking it, he said "hello, let me clear you off a place to sit."

How can you tell if someone is having a stroke?

There is lotion and used tissues laying around

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why didn't Darth Vader make it as a stand up comic?

Fans thought his sense of humor was a little too on the dark side.

What happens to Eminem when he dies?

I accidentally this joke the other day. Do you think it has potential?

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears?

I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!

Why did the pharaoh retire?

Because he did not want to be part of a pyramid scheme

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the bigamist cross the road?

To get to the other bride.

Why did Ellen Pao cross the road?

deleted

Bicycle Jokes More Bicycle Jokes

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed clown on a tricycle?

Attire

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

a tire.