What's the bad news?

Asked the patients. "You only have 24-hours to live." "And the really bad news " I should have told you yesterday.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do two sushi say after one tells a lame joke?

Nigiri, please."

What do you call 1,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace "liberals" with pretty much anything.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How did the mystic respond when asked what he's doing tonight?

Your mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay"

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What is yellow and lives off beetles?

Yoko Ono

What do a mole and an eagle have in common?

They both live underground. Except for the eagle.

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What's the difference between a cook and a homo?

Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.

How can you be so sure?

I was 10 years old yesterday.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?

At your cervix, m'lady

How bad are they?

Doctor: It depends, how old are you Patient: I will be 24 soon. Doctor: Pffff, no you won't.

Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

What's the bad news?

Asked the patients. "You only have 24-hours to live." "And the really bad news " I should have told you yesterday.

How's my cat, Doc?

Vet: I have good news and bad news..

24 Hour Jokes More 24 Hour Jokes

What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?

Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway.

What's the bad news?

Asked the patients. "You only have 24-hours to live." "And the really bad news " I should have told you yesterday.