What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why couldn't 5 stop drinking?

Because it was 2 turnt up

Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo?

They only had 2 vans

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why do people get addicted to meth?

Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.

Why did the Soviet union fail?

Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it... :P

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What water does Snake drink?

Big Voss.

Where does monty python buy his water?

From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?

I thought he didn't care about the 1%

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pit bull.

Craic Jokes More Craic Jokes

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

How did the Irishman get arthritis?

By craic-ing his knuckles.

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner?

Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.

Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

Pint Jokes More Pint Jokes

What's the difference between the NBA and a pint of Guinness?

Nothing. They're both mostly black, with a little bit of white at the top.

What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric?

Take us to your liter."

Brian Jokes More Brian Jokes

What does a dyslexic zombie say?

Brian's ... Briiiiiiiiian's!!!

Where's Brian?

Me: studying her closely He's... right here