Always tip your server.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
THIS IS NOT A JOKE I'm sure you all have heard the joke where has a number for each joke and that everyone just remembers the numbers instead for typing out the jokes. This always made me think "What would joke #1 be?" What do you think it'd be?
Window.
1 sleep until Christmas.
A huge mess.
1 natural log cabin. I'll show myself out.
1 dead baby in 10 trashcans.
He wrote, "i is the square root of negative 1."
1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees.
Cuz it has another 1
Everyone just needs 1 more line.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
They both want to pull 1 over on you.
17, 1 to hold the lightbulb, 1 to hold the ladder and the other 15 to drink whiskey until the roof spins
Just 1...blondes will screw anything.
239, because if there was 1 more it would be "Too Farty".
Remove only the top 1% please.
Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.
11 Because it has another 1
1 or 2 ? 1... or 2...
11, Because it has another 1.
Finding 1 dead Baby in 100 trash bins.
1 dead baby in 10 dumpsters
An envelope!
It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ
0, 1, e, pi.
1
Leave.
Because in charge Yoda was.
Because 6 8 9
A waste. You could fit 1 more in the trunk.
1 x 1 = 2) + 2 = 5"
Because they can't even.
1 if you hit him just right
Someone told him it was 2's day.
100. 100 who complain about the lightbulb oppressing them, and 1 man to actually do it.
1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.
2 scoops ice cream 1 scoop dead baby
5. 4 reverse and 1 forward for parades.
99, 98 get in a pile while 1 grabs a match and lighter fluid.
1%
That one doesn't believe in six before marriage.
Infinity plus 1. I'm sorry.
Cancer
It only takes one, but we weren't able to get the work done in 1 term because we inherited a really bad situation from the prior administration.
The Sirens of the Rams.
1 bear.
1 US Leader.
It only takes 1 nail to hang the painting.
Because 1 more would have been 240...
He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...
1 corpsepower
20 after 1.
Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.
Buy 2 get 1 free
Crimea River
It only took 1 nail to hang the picture.
Girl - Give me 1 good reason, why I should date you? Guy - I'll give you 69.
Grade 1.
1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was
That's when you blow me and I owe you 1.
PGA Tour.
100; 1 to do it, and 99 to say "I could do that."
They're right we do taste like chicken!
As Many Times As It Wants!
It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.
3 in 1
A pit bull.
About 1 in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming human.
100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.
Make it sew number 1!
When you don't use a condom.
I can't even...
A running play - Obviously...
1 AM feeling very sleepy.
Why are you skipping numbers girl 1: Because I can't even!!!
Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life.
Just a little bit.
A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.
11 because it has another 1
The NBA.
1% milk
Man 1: *Sighs* " I guess i'm just having some problems with my inner-sole "
They're always trying to 1-Up you.
Lifeguard 2: Sad, I saw a bear in lake 1: How is that sad 2: He could bearly swim! 1:.. 2: He ate 3 campers
1. No mind. 2. No business.
A: 1 has a less likely chance of survival in the dog pound
About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human.
Because the other .1% is too busy out hunting lions
not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7
Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything
Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up".
All girls want 70 things in their life 1. Shopping Rest are "69"
Because only the top 1% can stay above water.
I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.
1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.
Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.
2 chairs and a half of a fish.
you're an odd fellow
TAKBEER!
Knotty Pines.
Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb.
removed
Let us spray
Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.
Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.
Just Juan....
Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.
So he'd only get a 2 game suspension for abusing her.
To be on the safe side!
The mathematician says "2" The Physicist says "2, plus or minus 0.1" The engineer says "Probably around 2, but let's say 3 to be on the safe side".
Carpet burn
1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066.
That's not funny.
Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them.
