Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why did the kid fall out of the tree?

I shot him Why did the second kid fall out I stapled them together Why did the third kid fall out Peer pressure

How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday?

By putting flowers on the grave.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

Who's there ! B-2 ! B-2 who ?

B-2 school on time !

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What is a horses number 1 priority when voting?

A stable economy

What is long and hard on a Newfie?

Grade 1.

Monitor Jokes More Monitor Jokes

What did the monitor say when it got punched?

Ouch, that Hertz!"

Why didn't the NSA request AT&ampT's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Why is food better than men?

Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

because while I wait I like to be introspective

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver?

It's hard to keep track.

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright."

2 Kid Jokes More 2 Kid Jokes

Who r they 2 stop u?

Boy: My wife &amp 2 kids.

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.