Why can't clocks keep secrets?

Because, time will always tell.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How does a black women tell she is pregnant?

When she pulls the tampon out and the cotton is already picked.

Why are there so many Asians?

Its the food. There is too much raw dog. Heard it on Adam Carolla's Podcast. A caller phoned in and told it to Adam. Thought you guys would like it.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did the guy give up connecting his controller to his Xbox?

He was syncing too much time into it.

What's three times worse than OCD?

OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...

Clock Jokes More Clock Jokes

How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.

What do clocks do when they're still hungry after a meal?

They go back four seconds.

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

What it is, sweetie?

3: shouting I POOPED! "Do you know what a secret is " 3: whispering no.

Why do you want to join the Secret Service?

Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."