Monitor Jokes

What did the monitor say when it got punched?

Ouch, that Hertz!"

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Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

Why didn't the NSA request AT&ampT's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers?

It's a shifty business.

When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer?

The power is on and you're connected to the internet.

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Ouch Jokes More Ouch Jokes

What did the baby otter say when it walked into the club?

Ouch

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!"

Power Jokes More Power Jokes

What do you call a seafood restaurant that generates its own power?

A fission-chips shop.

Why is it dark in Skeletor's castle?

Because He-Man has the power.

Nsa Jokes More Nsa Jokes

Why can't the NSA leaker leave Russia?

Because he's Snow'd-in!

Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why are the only kids in Warsaw magnet schools from Central Poland?

Cause North and South Poles repel each other ...

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

Dell Jokes More Dell Jokes

What do you call a singing Laptop?

A Dell

What computer monitor sings the best?

A Dell.

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

Where's the best place to store ice cream cones?

Conetainers

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in a washing machine it doesn't text you every hour for a week.

Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?

He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What kind of operating system do horses use?

None. Horses are not known to use operating systems nor computers for that matter.

What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ?

A computer with a lot of bites !