Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

because while I wait I like to be introspective

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When in Rome do as the Romans you know?

Slaughters entire office and imposes grain taxes on peasantry

How many house flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just the standard two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?

An amoeboo!

What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish?

His catch-phrase. Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!

Restaurant Jokes More Restaurant Jokes

What do you call a vampire who owns a restaurant?

Count Spatula

What does Harambe order when he goes to a restaurant?

He gets the kids meal.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How do you save a suicidal procrastinator?

Tell them it can probably wait 'til tomorrow.

How many SRSers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They wait for the electrician to make a mistake and yell at them for doing it wrong.