How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver?

It's hard to keep track.

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Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do you want for your birthday this year?

Vanessa: I want a divorce! Kobe: I wasn't planning on spending that much this year. Here's another ring.

What do you call a skeleton with blonde hair in a closet?

Last year's winner of the blonde "hide and go seek" contest

Train Jokes More Train Jokes

What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train ?

A laplander !

How do you get an elephant on a train?

You take the "S" out of sub, and the "F" out of way. Say it out loud

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

What do you call two detectives tracking down a ghost?

Pair-a-normal investigators.

Why did the emo chicken go across the road?

He was afraid to go down the tracks.

Derail Jokes More Derail Jokes

How many trains have you derailed to date?

I replied "It's hard to keep track."

How many have you derailed this year?

I replied, "I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track"

Train Driver Jokes More Train Driver Jokes

What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?

Platform shoes !

What's the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver?

A schoolteacher says "Spit out that toffee" and a train says "Choo choo."