1. And they get 3 credits for it.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Coffee Mug
OC It only takes 1. But another 999 to repost this 100% original joke. I made this.
That ash.
She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.
1. Spelling 2. Pronunciation
A: 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"
Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!
Only 1, unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up
They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months
1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066.
2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list.
fixed) 100. 1 to change it and 99 to stand around and complain about how they coulda done a better job.
2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash
1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.
1: GENIUS!
He doesn't he skips 1-8 and says 9-11 ten times.
100. 1 to change the light bulb and the other 99 to complain about how the old light bulb was much better.
The Tchernobyl cowboy.
100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better.
11. 1 to change the lightbulb & 10 to take 200 photos of it & clog my newsfeed.
A 1 in 3,000,000 chance of becoming a human being.
1. Breast Cancer 2. Ovarian Cancer 3. Feminism
Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.
The boy stumbles: "Well euhm ... nothing I guess." "Thanks, I'll have 2 million drops then"
IHOP
Cos 720 is 1
1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout
He can't stand the 1%
1 figure, literally and figuratively.
I thought he didn't care about the 1%
3's enough. Here's 2." and gives him 1.
Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men
1 baby nailed to 10 trees Sure, oldest one in the book but whatever lets hear what you got gang
1
No- Good. Yes- That's too much.
Were you bit ! What ! Do you not know what a hurricane is
14,000. 1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.
Formula 1 drooling !
2) Do you have a girlfriend 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator
A water sprinkler.
2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)
Ten. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the other 9 to provide emotional support.
1 baby nailed to 10 trees.
Because they allow 1 free carrion
The World War " "No. There's already been 1 of those" "Uh this is a world war, too" *the streetlights explode*
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Let's get rational you can't carry on like this!
1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise
Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.
1 dead baby in 5 trash cans
2 scoops ice cream, 1 scoop dead dog.
1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money
Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connections for the following reasons: 1. Illegal downloading. Thank you, and have a nice day.
Darth Vader." "Was he 1 of Jesus disciples " "I dunno, I've only seen the 1st movie."
Her: No I in team Me: Isn't 1 in diet either. Her: Yes there.. Me: I'm too hungry for your mindgames!
You're turning me on!
Anywhere from 1 to 5 cats
I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.
1%
Because its natural log is 1. I'll show myself out now.
1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM
Me: 1) You-- 10YO: Seriously Why would you drag me into that
Because they like to get in touch with their inner self.
There is no dirt in the hole!
The holocaust.
1. She's basic. 2. She literally can't even.
Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it.
Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired
The government is opposed to euthanasia.
1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!
A sperm as a 1 in a million chance of actually becoming a human being.
Because in charge of directing, Yoda was
They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes
A stable economy
Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.
A full set of teeth
Because off sequence, Yoda was.
Two. 1 to screw it in, and 1 to complain that it's not dark enough.
A family friend paying a visit.
ilene
1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it.
A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.
Just 1...blondes will screw anything.
1 to hold the bulb in place and 100 to spin the house around it.
1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was
1 or 2? 1... or 2?
A: None They don't make Pampers small enough.
None. They aren't about to change a bulb when flipping a switch has worked for 15 years.
Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.
Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better.
A barbecue
wait for it ... wait for it ...) brucilage !!!!!!!!
Because they can't find three wise men and a virgin.
A natural log.
Let's get Jobs. Found in the comments of a post by
Because they'll always let friends access their private members. Ba dum tiss.
He falls off
more satisfaction at night for wearing a ninja suit all day.
Hella.
By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!
Sorry I don't have the tools, I only supervise."
Engineers (engine ears).
