Safe Jokes

What is 1 + 1"?

The mathematician says "2" The Physicist says "2, plus or minus 0.1" The engineer says "Probably around 2, but let's say 3 to be on the safe side".

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you get an elephant into a Safeway?

You take the S out of SAFE and you take the F out of WAY

Why did the squirrel cross the road on the telephone wire?

To be on the safe side!

You might also enjoy:

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why do Mexicans keep naming their child Jesus?

Jesus wasn't Mexican. He was human.

What kind of music did Jesus hate?

Anything by Judas Priest and Nine Inch Nails.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What did the tie say to the neck?

I think I'll just hang around.

What did the hail storm say to the roof?

Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)

What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?

A: An Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What would you guys like to ask an American?

Nevermind they'll just tell you anyway

How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint?

He gets pale as a sheet.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?

Shorts!

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?

Fry-by-night!

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys?

A LockSith.

What is the integral of 1/cabin?

B: "Log cabin!" A: "Nope, Houseboat. You forgot the C."

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between a piano, a tuna fish, and a pot of glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna. ... What about the pot of glue I knew you'd get stuck.

When birds fly in a 'V' formation, one arm of the V is usually longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

There are more birds on that side.

Plenty Jokes More Plenty Jokes

Why does a Canadian with a stutter never run low on batteries?

He always has plenty of double "eh"s, triple "eh"s...

What sort of soup do skeletons like?

One with plenty of body in it.