How do you get an elephant into a Safeway?

You take the S out of SAFE and you take the F out of WAY

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S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

Why did Ellen Pao punch the puppy?

Cause shes terrible.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why do elephants and stoners get along so well?

uh.. I don't remember..

What time is it when the elephant sits on the fence?

Time to get a new fence...

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What are 3 naked woman on a crate of beer?

In the way!

What do you call a bus on its way to Comic Con?

Virgin Mobile

F Jokes More F Jokes

How do you put a condom on a elephant?

You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Safeway Jokes More Safeway Jokes

How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping cart?

Take the "S" out of safe and the "F" out of way!

How do you get an elephant into a Safeway grocery bag?

You take the "S" out of safe and the "F" out of way. One of my all time faves. If you say it out loud it will make sense :D

Safe Jokes More Safe Jokes

Why did the squirrel cross the road on the telephone wire?

To be on the safe side!

What is 1 + 1"?

The mathematician says "2" The Physicist says "2, plus or minus 0.1" The engineer says "Probably around 2, but let's say 3 to be on the safe side".