What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank

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Why can't Californians stop at stop signs?

I don't know and this is not a laughing matter.

Ever wondered why bees hum?

It's because they don't know the words.

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Why did Santa divorce Mrs Clause?

because he only came once a year

What is the definition of masurbation?

Coming unscrewed

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What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Why so glum Chum?

asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister "

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Why did the dyslexic man have slime on his face?

Because I told him a good joke.

What is the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?

Timing

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What sort of soup do skeletons like?

One with plenty of body in it.

What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank