How to be Like Jesus 1. Be a carpenter. 2. Be a nice guy. 3. ?

4. Prophet.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What are the Humans doing?

Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I.

What's 1+1?

2

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did Jesus say when he made his return?

Hey guys! What's goin on Tweet my return! #JesusReturns"

What is Jesus's favorite gun?

A nail gun.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What do you call a rifle that fires 3 bullets at once?

A trifle!

Why did jesus not go to australia?

He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

Why did the Carpenters wife leave him?

Because he was screwing around.

What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters?

Jesus may actually return some day.

Nice Guy Jokes More Nice Guy Jokes

What do you call a nice guy with hemorrhoids?

A stand up guy

Why do nice guys make good lovers?

They always finish last.