Nice Guy Jokes

Who's the nicest guy at the hospital?

The ultrasound guy

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What do you call a nice guy with hemorrhoids?

A stand up guy

Why do nice guys make good lovers?

They always finish last.

What do you call the nicest guy in the hospital?

The Ultra-sound guy..... Who covers him when he's not available The hip replacement guy!

How to be Like Jesus 1. Be a carpenter. 2. Be a nice guy. 3. ?

4. Prophet.

Why do girls like nice guys?

Cause nice guys always finish last.

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Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What do you call a dark or melancholy verse of text?

Poe-etry

What happens when you text while driving?

I don't know, I've never tri

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

How did the sad clown smile and laugh again?

They told him his wife died recently.

What did the alcoholic Dad, away on business, say to the bartender at the hotel bar?

I'm ready to partiem with my perdiem *sorry, not a dad, and the bar tender didn't laugh either

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

Why the hate for necromancers?

T They're just trying to raise a family.

Hemorrhoid Jokes More Hemorrhoid Jokes

What does a math teacher do when he has hemorrhoids?

He works them out with a pencil.

Why're they called hemorrhoids?

Surely they should be called asteroids? :

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How's the meal?

Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...

Why were there only 1,000 Mexicans at the Alamo?

they only had 2 trucks

Beautiful Jokes More Beautiful Jokes

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why should you never race with a guy from Finland?

Because they're already Finnish before the race even began

What do you call an Asian man blowing another guy?

A Brojob.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How Many A Cappella Singers Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Twelve. Three to Physically Change the Bulb, Three to Talk About How Complicated it Was and Six to Call themselves Electricians.

How does Dallas Cowboys fans change a lightbulb?

They don't... they just talk about how good the old one was.