Nice Guy Jokes

Who's the nicest guy at the hospital?

The ultrasound guy

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What do you call a nice guy with hemorrhoids?

A stand up guy

Why do nice guys make good lovers?

They always finish last.

What do you call the nicest guy in the hospital?

The Ultra-sound guy..... Who covers him when he's not available The hip replacement guy!

How to be Like Jesus 1. Be a carpenter. 2. Be a nice guy. 3. ?

4. Prophet.

Why do girls like nice guys?

Cause nice guys always finish last.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What did number 2 say to number 1?

you're an odd fellow

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

my girlfriend who's a high school teacher heard this from a student the other day) Q: What do you call a cow with 3 legs? A: Lean Beef Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground Beef Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs? A: Your mom

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants?

He heard the snow-blower was coming.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Homeless Guy Jokes More Homeless Guy Jokes

How many homeless guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only 2, but I have no idea how you're gonna fit both of them inside a lightbulb.

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas?

Very, very hungry.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What is the funniest two legged lizard?

The stand-up chameleon.

How can you tell when an idiot's depressed?

Go stand in front of a mirror

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?

A: The vegetable garden.

How do tectonic plates have fun?

They meet up and crack each other up.

Beautiful Jokes More Beautiful Jokes

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What happens when you text while driving?

I don't know, I've never tri

Hemorrhoid Jokes More Hemorrhoid Jokes

What does a math teacher do when he has hemorrhoids?

He works them out with a pencil.

What's your favorite "grosser than gross" joke?

Mine is hickey on a hemorrhoid.