Beautiful Jokes

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

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Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why did the fruit leave office?

because he was imPEACHED! lol. i hate myself.

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

Standard Jokes More Standard Jokes

How much does a Polar Bear weigh?

Enough to lower your standards, I'm moonsoutgoonsout

Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Where did you buy all that junk?

Kid: At the Joke shop.

Who hasn't" muttered daddy bear. "What?

You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!"

Describe Jokes More Describe Jokes

How would you describe a joke about bones?

Humerus.97

What adjective do you use to describe a bad pun?

Pungent

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do people do when a chemist dies?

They barium.

Why do so many people like hanging out with Mr. Mushroom?

Because he's a Fungi!

Northern Lights Jokes More Northern Lights Jokes

What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture... What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture on the Northern Lights to the people of Wonderland?

Aurora boring Alice.

What did the monkeys say when they saw the Northern Lights?

Ooooooh, aaaaaah...

Whiskey Jokes More Whiskey Jokes

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

What does a cynical Irishman drink?

Whiskey sour

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

How can a man go eight days without sleep?

No problem , He sleeps at night.