What is the funniest two legged lizard?

The stand-up chameleon.

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What does E.T stand for?

Because he hasn't got a chair!..... sorry.

How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

One. He stands in place while the whole world revolves around him.

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How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant?

Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...

What's your funniest yet least known joke?

I have a friend that absolutely loves cheesy, question and answer jokes and I wanna make a card with a list of them! The problem is that she knows just about every joke known to man so I challenge you to give me hilarious, short jokes that aren't very widely known. Make me laugh!