Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did the drunk Mexican shoot his wife?

Tequilher

Whats the emergency?

My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When someone asks "You know what I think?

I say "Yes I do". End of discussion.

What do you get if you put four economists in a white room and ask them what colour the walls are?

Four different answers

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's the difference between training wheels and training bras?

I need two hands to remove training wheels.

How do you mute an Italian?

Tie up their hands.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Why do oysters enjoy being cooked?

It raises their shellfish steam.

What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart?

Amadeus on my dais.

God Jokes More God Jokes

Who was Michael Jackson?

Son: Dad, is God man or a woman? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God black or white? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God good or bad? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God - Michael Jackson?

What, why?

is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god

Bang Jokes More Bang Jokes

What does a desperate Mexican do?

Bangs his head against the wall.

What's the best thing to do with a thimble?

Bang it with a drum-thtick!

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

Why does no one want to work in the yard with a carpenter?

Because they take a fence to that.

What does a crappy Carpenter make?

Loose stools

Joseph Jokes More Joseph Jokes

How do historians know that Joseph wasn't Jesus' dad?

Because when you're a carpenter in the desert you can't get wood.

Why could Joseph never get anything done?

Because he was always Stalin..