Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

What's white and washes your socks?

Your wife.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Who did the philosophy major ask out for the Halloween dance?

Nobody. He was too 'Freud.

What did Jared say when the girl asked him for a footlong?

That he only has a 6 inch.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand?

He went to the second-hand shop.

Why did the cancer patient get smacked?

His hand was bigger than his face.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

Why was the horse farmer arrested?

He was raising a colt.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What, why?

is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

Bang Jokes More Bang Jokes

What goes clop clop clop - BANG! BANG! BANG! - clop clop clop?

An Amish drive-by shooting

How did Charlie Sheen contract HIV?

By banging 7-gram rocks.

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

Why did the carpenter join the army?

Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant

What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

Joseph Jokes More Joseph Jokes

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?

When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court

How do historians know that Joseph wasn't Jesus' dad?

Because when you're a carpenter in the desert you can't get wood.