Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person who knows 3 languages?

Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.

What did the person say when someone tried to cut off their toes?

I'm lactose intolerant.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does a white man never want to call a black man that starts with "N" and ends with "R"?

Neighbor" thanks bugz

How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it?

Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why is Batman so jealous of Superman?

Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2

What do you get when you add 2 apples to 3 apples?

A senior high school math problem.

Fry Jokes More Fry Jokes

What did the spaceman see in his frying pan?

An unidentified frying object.

What does a PASCAL programmer say to a C programmer?

A: "Would you like fries with that "

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's it called when you commission someone to make an animated image for your girlfriend but he pockets the money and disappears?

A gf gif gift grift

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb??

Just 1...blondes will screw anything.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

What do they say about a rapper who stole a dictionary?

He got a way with words.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

They're stuck at C for years

What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!

Discipline Jokes More Discipline Jokes

Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

How do you discipline your pet rock?

You hit rock bottom!

Defend Jokes More Defend Jokes

How many French people need to defend Paris?

It isn't known, never tried.

How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?

Nobody knows because they've never tried