Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

How do u tell the population of a small native village?

throw a bunch of pocket change in the middle of town. How do u tell who is the richest person in that village? Find the person who gathered the most change.

What do you call it when a person acts holy for a night then sins every day after?

A one night stand with Jesus

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the difference... between a (nationality, ethnicity, etc you want to make fun of) man and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast ?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Who's coca colas favourite rapper?

2-pop

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

Fry Jokes More Fry Jokes

How do ghosts like their chicken cooked?

Terri-fried!

What's it called when you fry up an egg with a bunch of different ingredients?

Omelette you figure it out

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's the best way to break up with your girlfriend?

On the front page of reddit.

Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?

Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

What do you call a cop who doesn't shoot innocent black people?

1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did the bartender say to the girl that tried to steal a drink?

It was worth a shot.

What is that white thing in my pork&beans?

The Queen Bean. *Blatantly stolen from Ren & Stimpy

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

When does a dog go "moo" ?

When it is learning a new language !

Why are modern women more likely to pursue a STEM degree?

They need to learn scientific notation to keep track of their n-count.

Discipline Jokes More Discipline Jokes

How do you discipline your pet rock?

You hit rock bottom!

Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

Defend Jokes More Defend Jokes

How many French people need to defend Paris?

It isn't known, never tried.

Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2?

Because he said he was pro Bono.