Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter?

Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

Why did the sasquatch go on a diet?

He didn't want to be Obeast.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Who would win in a fight...your mom or your dad?

From the looks of it, your dad won

Who would win?

everyone

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

What did the doctor do after he finished reading the book?

He removed the appendix!

Why don't you remove those barriers to imports?

It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down.

Award Jokes More Award Jokes

What's the award for being the world's best dentist?

A little plaque.

Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter?

Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation.

Catastrophe Jokes More Catastrophe Jokes

What's the difference between an accident and a catastrophe?

It's an accident if a boat full of refugees starts to take in water. A catastrophe is if they know how to swim

Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter?

Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation.