Why did God bless Texas?

He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key.

What's the last thing you want to hear when blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson"

Texas Jokes More Texas Jokes

Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas?

because they're still alive.

Why has Mexico never won olympic gold?

All those who can run, jump and swim are in Texas.

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why do you never see a black person with Down Syndrome?

God doesn't punish anyone twice.

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape so Christians can't claim God did it.

Chuck Norris Jokes More Chuck Norris Jokes

How do you stop an F4 tornado from destroying a town?

A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris! However, this method will cause more destruction than the tornado.

Who has more testicles?

contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Upset Jokes More Upset Jokes

Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church?

oc Because he cantaloupe.

What happens if you upset a cannibal?

You get into hot water.

Bless Jokes More Bless Jokes

Why wouldn't Pope Pius bless any helicopters when they were first manufactured?

Because whenever one started up, the big blades would go "wop...wop... wop" and the little blades would go "guineaguineaguinea".

Who's there ! Aitch ! Aitch who ?

Bless You !