What did Eminem learn to defend himself?

Marshall arts.

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Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

Eminem Jokes More Eminem Jokes

What kind of dinosaur would Eminem be?

A veloci-rapper. What about Stalin? A Tyrant-a-saurus rex.

Why did Bin Laden listen to Eminem?

He was an Afghani-Stan.

Defend Jokes More Defend Jokes

How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?

Nobody knows because they've never tried

What kind of stationary can't you defend yourself with?

A TACK