How do you use a philosophy degree in a professional context?

Why* would you like fries with that

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What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

Why couldn't I use the Palestinian toilet?

It was occupied.

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What South American dance do cows like to do?

The Rump-a

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"

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How do Asian's name their children?

Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*

How do you hit 20 flies in one shot?

Hit an Ethiopian in the head with a frying pan.