How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call an outdated joke that, while sharp, has little potential for laughs?

I used to know, but then I took an arrow to the knee

Why was the cake afraid of mobsters?

He knew they were going to ice him.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why do girls talk so much?

They have four lips

Why are girls always cold?

Because of their cold black hearts.

Fry Jokes More Fry Jokes

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

What did the Asian pirate do when he saw a crowd?

He fry through it!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

How many feminists you need to change a lamp?

That's not funny..."

End Jokes More End Jokes

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

What's the difference between a beer and a down syndrome kid?

If you end up with a badly poured beer you can blow it's head off.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What does a Seal drink at a bar?

Anything but Canadian Club..

What do you call an attractive bee who goes to bars?

A bar-bee!

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

What do giraffes and humans share the same number of?

Testicles.

Why didn't crab and lobster like to share?

They were both two shellfish

Introduce Jokes More Introduce Jokes

How did Zarathustra introduce his peanut-based health drink?

I teach you the goober quench!"

How do you get a touchdown at Penn State?

Introduce a boy with Down's Syndrom to Jerry Sandusky.