What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know she hasn't opened her presents yet.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs?

Right where you left it

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know Putin is late for Thanks Giving?

He's Russian to Turkey.

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

sleigh-er

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What does a 1 eyed, 1 legged, and deaf kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did the blind, deaf, mute girl get for Christmas??

Cancer.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Where did the girl go when the bomb exploded?

Everywhere.

Why don't electrical engineers get girls?

Because they can resistor.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Who's there ! Czech ! Czech who ?

Czech before you open the door !

How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning?

By opening the car door.