What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know she hasn't opened her presents yet.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving?

Because you only need one arm to drum along..

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why couldn't the apple speak to the orange ?

because he didn't know Mandarin

What's the difference between a Syrian school and a terrorist camp?

I don't know, I'm just flying the drone

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

What does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

sleigh-er

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the cripple get for christmas?

Wii Fit

What will fall on the lawn first?

An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

How did the girl with fetal alcohol syndrome tag a picture of herself on instagram?

nophiltrum

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How does a blonde turn the lights on in the morning?

A: She opens the car door.

What do you do when your car is making a really annoying noise?

Open the door and kick her out.