What did the poor, unfortunate, paraplegic kid get for christmas?

Cancer.

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Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What is Chuck Norris' only weakness?

Cancer

What kind of cancer always stands by the government?

Pro-state cancer.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.