Cancer Jokes

What is the difference between cancer and a Brazilian?

Cancer evolves, a Brazilian doesn't.

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Why doesn't cancer let anyone in a music store?

It doesn't want anyone to find The Cure.

Where do fashionable kids with cancer like to shop for clothes?

Never 21

What's worse than finding out that your wife has cancer?

Finding out it's curable.

Why is Apple donating money to cancer research?

Cancer stole our jobs!"

Why did the girl cry on the swing?

She has cancer

What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to?

Prostate

What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?

Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!

What did the paraplegic retard get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

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Why was the 45 year old businessman losing his hair?

He has cancer.

Why can't the armless girl comb?

Because she already had cancer.

What do you call a terrorist with cancer?

A free radical.

How did the muslim get cancer?

By smoking a lot of fags.

What did the blind, one-legged retarded kid get for Christmas?

cancer

This joke may have profanity.

Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

What did the deaf, blind, mute, handicapped kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's a good way to get gum out of your hair?

Getting diagnosed with cancer.

What's the difference between feminists and cancer?

Cancer reproduces itself.

What kind of cancer always stands by the government?

Pro-state cancer.

When is the worst time to get Cancer?

North of the equator.

What do a good joke and a child with cancer have in common?

They never get old.

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer

Where did the Irish guy get cancer?

In his prostatoe.

How did realism get me banned from Facebook?

I sided with cancer on the "Kids VS Cancer" page.

What's the difference between black people and cancer?

Cancer got Jobs

How do you get gum out of your hair?

Get cancer

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What do cheese and cancer have in common?

Americans put it everywhere!

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas?

AIDS

What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?

Cancer

What did the blind, deaf, mute quadriplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer

What's the easiest way to get the chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer

How do people with leukemia know they have cancer?

They can feel it in their bones.

Why did the scare crow get a raise?

Because he was outstanding in his field. Annnnd you all have cancer now.

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer :)

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did Timmy get for Christmas?

Cancer

What is the difference between my dad and cancer?

Cancer came back

What did the deaf, blind dumb kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the blind paraplegic get for Christmas?

cancer.

How do you describe getting cancer on your resume?

As a real growth opprotunity

What did the blind, paraplegic kid get for his christmas?

cancer

What did the blind, innocent, sweet, paraplegic 7 year old boy get for his birthday?

Cancer.

What does a 1 eyed, 1 legged, and deaf kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did the blind, deaf, mute girl get for Christmas??

Cancer.

What's the difference between a black person and cancer?

Cancer got Jobs

What did the boy with no arms & legs get at the World Cup?

Cancer. ( )

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did the blind, deaf, and mute kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

How did the hour and minute hands of the clock get cancer?

Second hand smoking! My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes haha.

What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Cancer.

What did Santa give the blind, autistic, paraplegic kid with down syndrome for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's the difference between cancer and a black guy?

Cancer can get jobs

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple..?

Cancer.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, amputee kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What is Chuck Norris' only weakness?

Cancer

What did the blind paraplegic child get for Christmas?

Cancer. Happy new years folks!

What will a blind, deaf child with no arms get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the blind and deaf girl get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the boy with no legs and arms get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do you call a blonde geek with cancer?

A dumb terminal

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What do you call a video game that gives cancer?

Tombr Aider

Why did the pop band get cancer?

They were radio active.

Why Looking So Crabby This Morning?

I Just Found Out I Have Cancer...

What did the deaf, blind, crippled kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Which presidential candidate is the most likely to cause cancer?

Ben Carsonogen

What's the diagnosis doctor?

What is your zodiac sign ' 'Cancer.' 'What a coincidence!'

What Star Wars character is most likely to get cancer?

Leukemia Skywalker.

What do you call an egg that cures cancer?

A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son.

What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What did the blind, def and mute kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did the children with no arms and legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do fish do when they have cancer?

Nemotherapy

What kind of cancer was Jar Jar diagnosed with?

Meesathelioma.

What do you call someone who can't take a joke about cancer?

Someone with no sense of tumor.

What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news?

Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny

What kind of cancer does an amnesiac oncologist diagnose?

Adenocarcinoma

What is David Bowie's zodiac sign?

Cancer.

What did the 11 year old junior paleontologist and 50-cent music lover with cancer receive from the one wish foundation?

A Rap Tour

What does deaf, mute and blind person get for christmas?

Cancer

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's the difference between cancer and black people?

Cancer got Jobs.

Why did Ellen Pao fire an employee with cancer?

Fixed* deleted

What's the prognosis, Doc?

DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT ! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor.

What did the blind deaf mute boy in a wheelchair get for Christmas?

Cancer!

How are cancer and pregnancy similar?

They can both be fixed with intense radiation therapy.

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas?

Cancer. :(

What does Sally have?

Cancer.

What does 9/11 and cancer have in common?

They were both inside Jobs

What was it again ?

Sagittarius, Capricorn - No ma'am, CANCER !

What did the boy with no arms &amp legs get at the World Cup?

Cancer. ( )

What did the poor, unfortunate, paraplegic kid get for christmas?

Cancer.

How did the clock get cancer?

Second-hand smoke!

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What do tornados and black people have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood

Why are black people so fast?

Since they run away from lions , but he nearest village is 10km away.....

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Why does China care so much about money?

They can't resist all of the cha-'ching'.

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money

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What did my wife say to me?

I want a divorce

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

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What do you call a cancer doctor who works 24/7?

An on-call-ogist

Why was the cancer doctor so tired?

He was always oncol

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Why didn't blacks in 1850 give high-fives?

Because everyone always left them hanging!

Why did so many blacks die in Vietnam?

Every time someone said "Get down!" they jumped up and started dancing.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

x-post /r/puns Scotch.

Why did the blind man cross the road?

Cuz he couldn't see it (Probly already posted but I've never seen it on r/jokes before)

21 Jokes More 21 Jokes

What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21?

Down's in the dumps

What's the best thing about 21 year olds in bed?

There's 21 of them

Brazilian Jokes More Brazilian Jokes

What is the difference between cancer and a Brazilian?

Cancer evolves, a Brazilian doesn't.

How many people live in South America?

A Brazilian.