What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?

Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why is the man only left with 30?

Credit to Bo Burnham.

What's the difference between white people and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will finally develop its own cultures

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What do cheese and cancer have in common?

Americans put it everywhere!

What do fish do when they have cancer?

Nemotherapy

Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

How does it feel to have your head separated from your body?

It tears your apart.

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today :)

End Jokes More End Jokes

Where do you find monster snails?

On the end of monsters fingers.

Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?

A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

What is the cost of plastic surgery?

Doctor: It is near about 10,000$. Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic

How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?

A buccaneer.

Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

Why did the relationship between two parallel lines never worked out?

It never worked out because they never met

What is important in relationships?

Reflexivity and transitivity.

Fortune Jokes More Fortune Jokes

Where do fortune tellers keep the fortunes?

Crystal balls deep made this up.

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?