What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

Claw Jokes More Claw Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside ?

A mouse sandwich !

Why do airplanes manufactured in Spain have windshield wipers on the inside?

Because the rain in Spain falls mostly in the plain.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

How much for the vacation home?

Sir, this is a coffin.

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What "D" (dimension) should Marilyn Monroe's movies always be shown in ?

Blon-D

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.