Why didn't the rock make it to work today?

He was stoned

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did Jesus drop out of the carpentry business?

He got too attached to his work.

What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's?

A Friar

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What do Will and Jaden Smith like about today?

It's After Earth Day.

What's wrong with them?

his boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

Why should you not throw stones at a knight?

Because heavy metal is harder than rock.

Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards?

The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

What happens when you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

Why do marble statues look so mean?

A: They have hearts of stone.