How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

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Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why are football grounds odd?

Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!

What did the puppy say when it sat on sandpaper?

Ruff

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What do you call an uncertain insect today?

A May bee.

What would Jimi Hendrix be doing today if he was still alive?

Trying to get out of his grave.

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

How does the chef prepare the chicken?

The waiter replies, "He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

What's the difference between a four year old and a baggie of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a baggie of cocaine fall out the window.

What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo of cocaine fall out of a window.

Up Jokes More Up Jokes

How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

What did the man reply to his friend that found a good paying job taking care of mentally challenged people?

Answer: Oh, so it has its ups and downs.