Cocaine Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

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How is credit like cocaine?

Everyone just needs 1 more line.

What are the similarities between Cocaine and Gain detergent?

A:With both of them you go sniff sniff hooray!

What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window

Why should you tell bad jokes to cocaine addicts?

Because they'll crack up anyways

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton never lost a bag of coke out the window.

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What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

How does the drug addict know the cocaine is good quality?

He just nose. All credit to my BFF

What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo of cocaine fall out of a window.

What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?

Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What's the difference between a four year old and a baggie of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a baggie of cocaine fall out the window.

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a toddler and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

What do you call someone who sneezes doing cocaine?

A snowblower

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine &amp a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...

Why did Johnny Cash have the Cocaine Blues?

He ran out of cocaine.

Why is cocaine the alt-right's favorite drug?

White powder!

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon

Why couldn't the police arrest the drug dealer?

Because the evidence was under their noses (They sniffed the cocaine)

Where do you hide cocaine in orphanage?

Right under the children's noses

What do you call a midget that does cocaine?

A low blow

What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony

What is the climax to a telephone receptionist who is on cocaine ?

A second line

How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

How many Sigmund Freud's does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Cocaine.

What do you get when when you mix cocaine and LSD?

Time

What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

What do you get when you mix a boxer and cocaine?

A punchline

What's the difference between a bindle of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let one fall out the window

What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How do you tell an introvert and an extrovert mathematician apart?

When talking to you, the extrovert mathematician looks at *your* shoes.

What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts?

I don't even wanna talk to the living.

Big Bag Jokes More Big Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!

What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What do you get when you cut up an avagadro?

Guaca**mole**y edit: how do I make it not say this joke is Dirty

What's reddit without the R&ampD?

Edit:

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why won't the witch let the traveling pig actors into her gingerbread cottage?

She's afraid they'll bring down the house.

What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil?

Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why would Target be the worst store to run the Enterprise?

Because they all wear red shirts

Why do pigs run into trees?

To shake out the alligators. I've never seen an alligator In a tree. That's because the pigs do such a good job.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window

How many I.T. workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

none, just upgrade to windows

5 Year Old Kid Jokes More 5 Year Old Kid Jokes

What do you call a 5 year old kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor All they wanted was books but instead they got magazines

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.