Cocaine Addict Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

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What type of stories do cocaine addicts write?

Snort stories

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

What's the difference between Biggie Smalls and your mom?

Biggie loves it when you call him Big Poppa, while your mom just loves it when you call.

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What did Jesus say to the man with leprocy?

OOPS! GOT YOUR NOSE!

Why was the nose running?

Cuz it's a running nose

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !

Why are giraffes' necks so long?

Because their heads are so far from their bodies.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend?

Because every day is a sadder-day.

What's the difference between George Michael and Carrie Fisher?

Two days.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

What do you call a vegetable that always stays outside?

An un-in.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog?

A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.

How the hell can ya be so stupid?

Jessie: Well it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.

Headline Jokes More Headline Jokes

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

Why did North Korea tell South Korea not to crow about the recent agreement?

Because they'd rather see them raven. Obligatory apology: saw a headline and couldn't resist.

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

Why don't drug addicts hang out at the beach?

They don't like getting sand in their crack.

What's the smartest dinosaur?

Thesaurus Rex! omg, I crack myself up! Skip