How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb?

Hippies can't change anything. And they smell bad.

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Change Jokes More Change Jokes

Why are you divorcing her?

Me "She changed the station during Bohemian Rhapsody." J "You get half her stuff." *air guitar solo*

Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer?

Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up."

How many Vladimir Putins' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they didn't Putin enough effort. Just a play on his last name, nothing more.

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?

Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the frog's finger

What does socialism smell like?

It has a Bernie smell.