What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and Mexicans?

Jesus doesn't have any tattoos of Mexicans.

What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm?

Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What's roughly 6 inches long, has a head on it, and women love it so much that they often blow it?

A 20 dollar bill

How did he do that?

I dropped it on his head.

Headline Jokes More Headline Jokes

Why did North Korea tell South Korea not to crow about the recent agreement?

Because they'd rather see them raven. Obligatory apology: saw a headline and couldn't resist.

What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented?

There's been a ground breaking discovery...

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

What do you call fifty blondes lined up ear-to-ear?

A: A wind tunnel. #ThugLyfe

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

Why was the feminist happy when the newspaper got it wrong?

Because she enjoyed being Ms-quoted

Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?

C4.

Cocaine Addict Jokes More Cocaine Addict Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What type of stories do cocaine addicts write?

Snort stories