Newspaper Jokes

Why was the feminist happy when the newspaper got it wrong?

Because she enjoyed being Ms-quoted

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

What kind of newspaper do cows read?

The Moo York Times

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Why did the newspaper cross the street?

To get to the other side of the story.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Which newspaper is most popular around cows?

The Moo York Times

How did the newspaper go about reviewing the opera production?

They followed Standard Opera-rating Procedure

Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?

C4.

What's black white and read all over?

A: A newspaper.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How did the Reddit user read his newspaper?

ltORIGINAL&gt He Reddit

How can you find a fag in a newspaper?

It's not hard.

This joke may have profanity.

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

What newspaper do cows read?

The Daily Moos.

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

What's black and white and read all over?

The newspaper.

You might also enjoy:

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of ships can't go in salt water?

Snail-boats

What kind of guns do bees use?

BeeBee guns

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears in Heaven?

Threw his baby out the window.

Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

Why did the cow drink his own milk?

He needed the cowlcium.

What do you call a Cow on the moon?

A Moo - nwalker

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What is the difference between a feminist and a cat?

One of them is annoying, dangerous, hairy, lazy, disgusting and filthy and the other one is just a feminist

How many feminists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

One to screw it in and nine to write on their blogs about how enlightening the experiment was.

Small Child Jokes More Small Child Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Swat Jokes More Swat Jokes

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Who do you call when theres a fly in your house?

The SWAT team

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did David say when the tourist tried to touch him?

Don't touch my marbles.

What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Bare Grylls

Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes?

He wanted to go bear foot.