What's black and white and read all over?

The newspaper.

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How did Helen Keller lose her arm?

Trying to read the road signs!!!

What did the blind man say when he picked up a cheese grater?

This is the most violent story I've ever read!

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.