What did the blind man say when he picked up a cheese grater?

This is the most violent story I've ever read!

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Why did the forgetful Mexican cross the road?

To get to the other side... err, no it was to pick up the laundry... nope, to get groceries? I forget.

Why did the cave hate miners?

They're always picking on him.

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What do you call a deaf person who can't lip read?

Anything you want!

What newspaper do cows read?

The Daily Moos.

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What's the worst thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

How did a blind man drive his car?

A: One hand on the wheel the other on the road.

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What did Helen Keller say when she put down the cheese grater?

That was the most violent book I've ever read.

What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater?

That's the worst book I ever read.