Blind Man Jokes

How do you spot the blind man at a nudist beach?

Well..it's not hard

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What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

What's a blind mans worst fear ?

A prius

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?

Is this a tumblr meetup?"

What has one eye but can't see?

A blind man... I'll show myself out... TO SEE YOU BACK NEXT WEEK!!

Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?

He was taking a look around

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish market?

Good morning ladies.

Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

How did the blind man know Santa was in his house?

He felt his presents.

What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market?

Good morniiiiiiing ladies!"

How can you recognise a blind man among a crowd of nudists?

It's not hard...

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How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish store?

Hello, ladies"

What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured?

Icee."

What's a blind mans favorite car?

A cataract

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Why did the blind man cross the road?

Cuz he couldn't see it (Probly already posted but I've never seen it on r/jokes before)

How did a blind man drive his car?

A: One hand on the wheel the other on the road.

What did Jesus say after he healed the blind man?

Made you look!

What did the blind man say when he picked up a cheese grater?

This is the most violent story I've ever read!

Why did the blind man walk into a wall?

Somebody shot his dog

What's the worst thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

What did they say about the blind man who got hit by a bus?

He never saw it coming.

What did the blind man say to his old friend?

Ayy, long time no see!

What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?

One can't see to go the other can't go to sea.

What did the blind man say to his estranged friend?

Long time, no see."

How many books can a blind man read?

Brailly any!

How did a blind man meet his wife?

A: On a blind date!

What did the blind man say to the blind man?

Long time no see.

What did the blind man say when he arrived at the fish market?

Hello, ladies."

What did the blind man say when he was asked what he thought about the renovation plan of his house?

I don't know.. I just don't see it.

How do you make a blind man mad?

Awwwwwww. Look at them pretty flowers.

What is the worse thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet!

What's a blind man doing on a boat?

Waiting for a bus.

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!"

What is the first thing a blind man says?

My eyes! My eyes!

How many blind men would it take to change a light bulb?

Why would a blind man need a light bulb?

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Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

Why were all the ladies attracted to Jesus?

Because he was hung like this. (Hold your arms out wide)

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

Why did the fork go to the party?

It wanted to have a good tine.

What weighs 15,000 pounds and combs her red hair with a fork?

Princess Arielephant

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why was the Xbox 360 named as it was?

Cos when I seen one i turnt 360 degrees and walked away Playstation for life xD

What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics?

Walking

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Whenever I meet a Jim I ask, "is that short for Jimberly?

and I have few friends in real life.

What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time?

They shake hands.

Fish Market Jokes More Fish Market Jokes

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish market?

Good morning ladies.

What did the blindman say when he walked by the fish market?

Helllllllloooooo (insert your mother's/wife's/sister's/grandmother's name here.)

Point Jokes More Point Jokes

What was the point in making your car louder, bro?

Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic

What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets the point.

Nudist Jokes More Nudist Jokes

How do nudists greet each other?

With a bare hug.

What do Pentecostals and Nudists have in common?

Neither can wear pants

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many RothChilds does it take to change a light bulb?

There still working on it...

How many blind people does it take to change a light bulb?

None if nobody's looking.