Blind Man Jokes

How do you spot the blind man at a nudist beach?

Well..it's not hard

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What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

What's a blind mans worst fear ?

A prius

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?

Is this a tumblr meetup?"

What has one eye but can't see?

A blind man... I'll show myself out... TO SEE YOU BACK NEXT WEEK!!

Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?

He was taking a look around

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish market?

Good morning ladies.

Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

How did the blind man know Santa was in his house?

He felt his presents.

What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market?

Good morniiiiiiing ladies!"

How can you recognise a blind man among a crowd of nudists?

It's not hard...

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How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish store?

Hello, ladies"

What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured?

Icee."

What's a blind mans favorite car?

A cataract

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Why did the blind man cross the road?

Cuz he couldn't see it (Probly already posted but I've never seen it on r/jokes before)

How did a blind man drive his car?

A: One hand on the wheel the other on the road.

What did Jesus say after he healed the blind man?

Made you look!

What did the blind man say when he picked up a cheese grater?

This is the most violent story I've ever read!

Why did the blind man walk into a wall?

Somebody shot his dog

What's the worst thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

What did they say about the blind man who got hit by a bus?

He never saw it coming.

What did the blind man say to his old friend?

Ayy, long time no see!

What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?

One can't see to go the other can't go to sea.

What did the blind man say to his estranged friend?

Long time, no see."

How many books can a blind man read?

Brailly any!

How did a blind man meet his wife?

A: On a blind date!

What did the blind man say to the blind man?

Long time no see.

What did the blind man say when he arrived at the fish market?

Hello, ladies."

What did the blind man say when he was asked what he thought about the renovation plan of his house?

I don't know.. I just don't see it.

How do you make a blind man mad?

Awwwwwww. Look at them pretty flowers.

What is the worse thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet!

What's a blind man doing on a boat?

Waiting for a bus.

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!"

What is the first thing a blind man says?

My eyes! My eyes!

How many blind men would it take to change a light bulb?

Why would a blind man need a light bulb?

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Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

How do you conufuse a blond?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Eye Dog Jokes More Eye Dog Jokes

Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?

He was taking a look around

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

Swe Jokes More Swe Jokes

Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?

He was taking a look around

How do you describe a Swede, who's not really a Swede?

Swed-ish.

Prius Jokes More Prius Jokes

Why is owning a Prius difficult?

It's hard to drive when you're patting yourself on the back all the time.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Prius?

Porcupines have pricks on the outside

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

How did Mark Zuckerberg meet Miley Cyrus?

Social net twerking

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!

House Jokes More House Jokes

What is the difference between a refrigerator and a one foot tall man painting the side of a house?

Answer: On a quantum level, there is no difference.

What did the homeowners of house haunted by windows have?

Phantom panes.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What's the difference between a necrophiliac and someone with a granny fetish?

A couple of weeks

Whatever for?

Fred: Then you'd be in a cast for weeks.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: What's a light bulb

How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb ?

A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .