Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.
One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in.
Miracle whip.
His prime-mate!
I did not see that coming.
Press pray.
Ready teddy go !
My erection.
A pedestrian.
A sithy.
Wrong, Batman always wins.   Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.
I put the wrong socks on today.
Harambe: May I get a martini Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice Me: Justice for Harambe.
Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"
The Daily Moos.