How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch?

They don't want to have to retrain them.

Where are you going to keep them ?

Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath Stan: Blindfold them !

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge?

No, Woman, no pie."

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

How's my life?

Let's just say I'm starting a lot of sentences with "let's just say".

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the super spy polyatomic ion say when he walked into the bar?

The name's Bond, Covalent Bond

What's it called when Jesus walks across the street?

A cross walk

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What do Polish Hussars and toothpaste have in common?

They both fight against Tartars.

Who would win in a fight, Michael J. Fox or Taylor Swift?

Michael J. Fox he would just shake it off.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How do I look today?

Bruno Mars: "When I see your faceeee" Girl: "Ok ok I get it."

What did the dog say after a hard day at work ?

Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.