How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the last thing you want to hear from a surgeon dissecting someone?

Oops

Why did the Irishman only want 239 beans in his soup?

Because one more would be too farty.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you throw a drowning aboriginal?

His wife and kids

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

When did this start?

and the gentleman replies, "When did what start "

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An envelope!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why do pirates have trouble walking?

Arrrr-thritis

Why do cows need four legs to walk?

Because they lactose. Moo

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What did the Australian say to the two people fighting over bread?

It's stalemate

Why does it smell of tires?

There are two black people fighting.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How do you tell the difference from a guy's chromosome and a girl's chromosome?

You pull down their gene's and have a look! Credit: I heard this from an older gentlemen today at a senior home.

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Which newspaper is most popular around cows?

The Moo York Times