How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

Previous Random Joke Next
Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in.

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the Gorilla call his first wife?

His prime-mate!

What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce?

I did not see that coming.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How does a Chinese man start a religious video?

Press pray.

How do you start a teddy bear race ?

Ready teddy go !

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What is the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead babies?

My erection.

What do you call a black man walking down the street?

A pedestrian.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What do you call a Sith lord who refuses to fight?

A sithy.

Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

Wrong, Batman always wins.   Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How did the sperm cross the road?

I put the wrong socks on today.

What can I get you today?

Harambe: May I get a martini Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice Me: Justice for Harambe.

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

What newspaper do cows read?

The Daily Moos.