When did this start?

and the gentleman replies, "When did what start "

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What if my knees start to hurt?

Me to instructor: See what I'm up against

What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

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Whatever's the matter ?

asked her mother. 'I don't know' replied Mary 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'

How much will that be?

asks the neutron. "For you " replies the bartender, "no charge."

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.

What did the gentleman say to the doctor when he went to get his pus drained?

Please! I in cyst!